Setting Goals: Are You Afraid To?

The title says it all. One of the biggest things I've struggled with my entire life is setting goals. I use to pride myself on "living by the seat of my pants", guess I thought it would make me a bad boy all the girls would like. (yeah, my lack of a romantic life tells you how well that worked out for me!)

Still, I guess I've always been afraid I'd fail....scratch that, I was always afraid that it wouldn't be the path God wants me on. (yes, I'm a Christian, although not a very good one. Quick note, you will NEVER hear me preaching from this blog. Of all the people in this world, I'm the last who should do that!!!!)

But yes, that has been my fear, especially as I've gotten older. I made bad decisions when I was 21 that threw my life on a totally random course, missed a chance a real happiness that I still wonder about at times, and ever since then I've kinda drifted through life. Oh sure, I'd always hide it with a great mask and soaring rhetoric about how I'd get it all turned around.....

Well, there are two quotes that have always stuck with me. I'd like to say I tried to live by them, but I can't, but I am going to do my best to now. One was from End of Evangelion (which is a rather crazy but masterpiece of an anime film.....don't judge me!) where one of the characters, Misato, tries to shake the series main character, Shinji, into action. His friend was being killed, their base was being over-run, and he was the only one who could do anything about it. Instead, Shinji refused to do anything, having been broken by events in the series that preceeded the movie (Neon Genesis Evangelion). In a last ditch effort, Misato grabs Shinji and screams at him,

"SNAP OUT OF IT! Giving up halfway is worse than never trying at all!!"

Its so true. However, its so easy to give up, isn't it? I faced it in Basic Training, where almost halfway through I'd given anything to get out of there. You have no idea....those who have been through it can attest, it taxes you mentally more than physically, but it tears you apart. Every time I do a PT test it crawls in my mind, or even something as simple as Math hw.

Do you ever have that problem? I'm sure we've all faced something that we wish we hadn't, and it would be so easy to curl up in a little ball and wish the world away. I was in that place again today, after something (again) knocked me on my butt just when I started to get the ball rolling again. But you know what, the world didn't go away for me, and I bet it never has for you. (if it did, let me know how!!!)

Teddy Rosevelt said the second quote, one I stumbled upon tonight:

"In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing."

Why is my life in the shambles its in? Because I did nothing. I curled up on my couch instead of going to work, I decided to hide from the monsters outside by not going to class, I refuse to cultivate friendships because I don't want to get hurt, so I isolate myself.

Well, at least thats what I did.

So.....I am in the process tonight of setting 3 major goals for the rest of 2010, and then several minor goals. These goals will the quantifiable (the big word for the night! Don't ask me what it means, just sounds fancy!!! :) and be definitive. It will not be "I may" or "I hope", its going to be "I will." I'll share them when I'm done.

NOW....here comes another question, something I think I'll touch on my next blog- how to bring that in harmony with what God wants. (yeah, I'm going there) Its been my biggest fear: what if I set my life to pursue something, only to find out when its too late that it wasn't what I was suppose to do, and I missed out on so many gifts and moments of happiness? What if I waste my life?

Stay tuned!

The Opening Pitch

I guess, being technologically savvy like I once was, you could say I've arrived late to the whole blog craze. But here I am! (Better late than never, right?)

I'm sure I'm going to ramble from all number of things, from the goofy such as the state of NASCAR or the new Spider-Man movie - to serious, as to how we face life, how to relate to God, ect. For those of you who don't know me and stumble upon this, the short version is I'm a 26 year old guy who's made the wrong decisions (oh, so many) in his life, and is no where near what I thought I'd be at this age. However, I believe that God has a purpose for everyone, and there is a reason all things happen.

Its with this in mind that I state the primary purpose of my blog: I want to help other people who are just like me. I'll admit it, I've struggled with depression most of my adult life, especially the last 5 years. I'm a stubborn guy (those who know me are nodding their heads!), so I'm not one to broadcast that normally, or seek help. To me, I felt I should just suck it up.

However, I find myself having lived a quarter of a century, and nothing to show for it. My Dad is fond of pointing out, and rightly so, how much money I could have made in my time working from 16-26, and the fact I have nothing in the bank account. My personal life has been in tatters for about 2 years, as I have refused to move on from a situation in my past. My fitness has stagnated since I returned from Basic Training last year, with myself using my knee injury as a convenient excuse to keep from pushing myself.

To quote from Steve Pavlias blog:

...At the end of a month, I couldn’t really think of many salient events that occurred during the month. I had no job, no car, no income, no goals, no plans, and no real future. All I felt I had was a lot of problems that weren’t getting any better. I had no sense that I could control my path through life. I would simply wait for things to happen and then react to them.

That's me in a nutshell, and its time for that to change. The thing that defines us is what we do after rough times come, when the storm has passed and you survey the damage. Do you suck it up, and move forward? Or do you wallow around, thinking whats the point? I'm ashamed to say I've become more of the second one, and that's not good enough.

So, hopefully in between my musings on Batman and Alabama football, there might be some gems that speak to you, or spark something that you'd want to share with me. I'm sure I'll be pulling from all manner of things, such as "Wild at Heart", Steve's blog, and a new book I'm reading by the late Coach John Wooden. I'm going to be working at organizing and structuring my life, and hopefully I can become the man and father I need to be, and who knows...maybe one day a husband for someone. Never know whats out there (Though God bless her soul, she's going to need it! haha!)

Anyways, welcome to the blog, and I hope you enjoy it.

Sincerely,

Chris